It feels like there’s no more energy left. Like everything I once had was wiped out and I’m just going through the motions. I’ve done this for so many years. My heart is pounding and fluttering when all I’ve been doing all day is sleeping and laying down on the couch. My dreams are getting stranger and my thoughts are drifting towards the dark end of the spectrum. Every time I open up I get shut down again and I’m wondering what the point even is anymore. I’m just so tired of jumping through hoops. I’m never good enough. It’s never good enough. Is it wrong to just want to figure everything out; to want to know all the facts, and to want to feel safe again? I can’t even remember the last time I felt safe or relaxed. I can’t recall the last time I felt at home and not so alone.